My stomach started hurting just before dinner, and by bedtime I was fervently worshipping the porcelain goddess. Between spending half the night kneeling in front of the toilet and the other half fitfully tossing and turning, I’m feeling exhausted and drained, like I flushed away a piece of my soul. Stomach bugs are awful.

I’m grateful that I have a wonderful husband, who rubbed my back and wrapped me in a blanket while I was in the midst of my suffering. I’m grateful that he put the children to bed, then got up and fed them breakfast. I think it’s hilarious that he consistently manages to put the baby’s clothes on backwards, and I hope he never changes. I couldn’t live without him.

I’m also grateful for crochet, so I can lie in bed taking it easy without feeling like I’m wasting the day away.

Best Friends

We got the toddler a small backpack for her birthday, which she promptly stuffed with some of her favorite things then wore it around all day. After she had gone to bed, I opened it up to take a peak, and loved the glimpse that I got into her mind.

There was a Frozen birthday card, a book of princess stickers, some dress up clothes, and a pair of shoes — the most important things in the world. I love the sort of girl she is.

My two daughters are the bestest friends that I have ever had. They’re the ones I cuddle up with to watch a movie and share a tub of ice cream with on the bad days, and the ones I dance and sing with on the good days. Ultimately, all I can do is inspire them as they grow to be the best that they can be, and I work hard to be a good example for them. I can’t protect them from every hardship, I can’t choose their life paths for them, but I can be their refuge, their mentor, their ally. I can be their mother, and their friend.

Sharing my life with these two beautiful girls is a blessing beyond any measure, even when they drive me crazy.

The All Natural Movement

My rebellion against the all-natural organic movement probably seems a bit silly, but I’m sure that those who have been exposed to the sort of people who adhere to this way of living can understand. To them, it’s not a simple matter of preference and just trying to live a happy life — you may think that you’re enjoying a tasty bowl of corn puffs for breakfast, but in reality you are destroying the environment, killing innocent animals, and injecting yourself with cancer.

The part that really upsets me is that I’m not discarding crappy toothpaste because my best efforts at oral hygiene still resulted in tooth decay, I’m turning my back on planet-friendly products because I’m a failure. I failed to care about the earth, failed to reap the benefits of a superior way of living, failed to support the movement. Oh, and I’m destroying the environment, killing innocent animals, and injecting myself with cancer.

I yelled at my husband for dragging me into this cult-ish world of all-natural organic products. It probably wasn’t the most fair thing for me to do, since he had grown up using these products, and his mother had adamantly taught him that he should use them — he has been trying to be a dutiful son more than anything else. In turn, I was trying to be a dutiful and supportive wife, and now I feel like a failure because it’s just not working out for me.

Anyway, my husband has decided to encourage me start using regular cleaning and beauty products, since the whole “all-natural is better for you” thing has been crumbling into pieces around us. He also isn’t pleased with the dentist bill.


After a very unpleasant trip to the dentist, I’ve decided that I am Done. I am Done with “all natural” toothpaste, and I am going back to Colgate. I am Done with “all natural” shampoos, soaps, everything.

I gave it an honest shot. I tried it for five years, and it is not working for me. So I’m Done.

I can understand that we shouldn’t be eating chemicals and preservatives. I don’t complain about making all of our meals and desserts from scratch, and I’m eager to start a vegetable garden of my own. But this sulfate witch hunt has really gotten on my nerves, and I’m tired of using crappy products that don’t work.

I’m not going to sacrifice my teeth to a movement that I don’t believe in.

I’m going to use Colgate, and I’m going to relish its foamy anti-cavity protection.

On Birthdays

Maybe I’m just being selfish and prideful, but I’m starting to think that the children’s birthdays should be celebrations for me. Congratulations! You’ve managed to survive three years without killing your daughter! You are amazing!

Maybe one day she’ll mellow out.

Personality List

I’ve finally reached the point where I think that discovering a new personality would be very exciting, which probably means I’ve reached the end of that particular journey. While we know about a number of personalities, we still struggle with drawing them to the outside world, so perhaps that will be the next step.

Anyway, here’s the complete list:

1 EM
2 Saffron
3 Emmy
4 Summer
5 Lavender
6 Lanette
7 Autumn

8 Ana
9 Anwen
10 Cirrus
11 Evelyn
12 Carol
13 Rain
14 Aoife

15 Seraphina
16 Pearl
17 Star
18 Mauve
19 Briar Rose

Celestial Beings
20 Alelle
21 Sarah
22 Rachel
23 Benjamin
24 Malachi
25 Micah

26 Celeste

I’ve talked a lot about merging personalities together to bring the number down to something a bit more manageable, but at the present moment no one is ready for that. My husband’s advice was to let it happen naturally, if it wants to happen at all.

My feeling is that before we can move any farther, we need to get Celeste’s cooperation. About three years ago, my husband hurt her deeply and she’s been nursing a grudge ever since. Rather unfortunate, since she was dubbed “The Puppet Master” for a reason.

Like A Man

Late last night, our quiet peace was suddenly interrupted by yelling in the street. What I had first thought was rowdy teenagers quickly built until it crescendoed in screaming – the sort that goes right through you and chills your bones. Before I had the chance to say, “We need to call the police,” red and blue lights were flashing through the window. My husband ran to look, and reported that three police cars were quickly speeding away like they were in pursuit.

The screaming woke the children up, and they were scared. I comforted them, and wanted nothing more than to hunker down with my babies where we were safe from the unknown. My husband wanted to go outside and poke around to try to figure out what was going on, unable to rest until he had fully assessed the situation — just like a man.

I had to chuckle at our inherent differences. Go, protect us and make sure that we have nothing to be afraid of. I’ll stay here, so you don’t have to worry about me and the children.

The police came back a few minutes later, but eavesdropping on their conversation didn’t provide any explanations. Perhaps the story will come through the neighborhood gossip.